An unknown wild animal is on the loose in Northern Florida. Some reports say it is a baby bigfoot or skunk ape. Others say it is an orangutan. Still others think it might just be a squirrel. A bear hunter said that the unknown creature stole some of his jelly donuts. Wildlife officials are now trying to capture the mysterious animal and are using donuts as a lure. This makes sense to me as there is not much in nature that is as irresistible as a donut. I just have to wonder how healthy it is to feed animals jelly donuts. When I go to the local zoo I remember seeing signs saying don’t feed the animals people food. I don’t know what orangutans or bigfeet eat but I am pretty sure it is not part of their natural diet. If donuts don’t work maybe they should try a cheese danish.
Amazon is releasing the Kindle wireless reading device. They are billing it as the future of book reading. I haven’t seen one person but it looks to be larger than a PDA. They say it is lighter than a paperback. There are more than 88,000 books available and over 100 magazines. You can also read blogs off of it and Word documents. The Wi-Fi lets you download books and you can sample books before you buy. It will hold over 200 titles. Now I like the idea of the Kindle but will it replace books? I like the feeling and smell of books. An electronic device just doesn’t have the same feel. I also wonder how the screen is on your eyes. I love gadgets but this is one of those items I would want to see and touch before I committed to buying one. I don’t want to plunk down $399 for an item that becomes a dust collector. You can buy one here and you can let me know how you like it.
Thanksgiving is almost here. I have given you recipes for the turkey but how about the drinks. What goes well with turkey? Well if you like beer you will want to check this out. The friendly folks at this site have paired the proper beer with the different foods you would expect to find on your table. I am pretty sure the Pilgrims drank beer so it is a Thanksgiving authentic drink.
If you are still planning on how to cook your turkey you could always fry it. Be warned that this method is probably one of the most dangerous methods of cooking a turkey. Every year I read about at least one home being burned down due to a mishap frying the Thanksgiving bird. The local grocery stores here will fry it for you. Saves you from having hot oil splashed on you. That alone is worth the cost. Here is how not to fry a turkey.
Santas in Sydney, Australia have been given the direction to use ha, ha, ha instead of ho, ho, ho. Why? Ho is offensive and scary. The word ho can scare children and women take offense because Santa might be calling them a prostitute. What next? Will Rudolph lose his red nose. Having a red nose is often a sign for drunkeness and alcoholics. It also calls attention to a physical deformity that the poor reindeer has. That nose has to go too. Don’t even get me started on elves and bumbles.
I watched a Thanksgiving show on the Food Network this weekend. Alton Brown said that you must brine your turkey. I don’t know that I have ever had a turkey that has been soaked in brine. This year I will. Mrs. Mai Tai will be brining the turkey before she cooks it. I don’t know if it will make a big difference or not but we are going to try it out this year. If you want to brine your turkey check out this recipe.
Jones Soda just announced their holiday pack for 2007. This years Christmas feast includes Sugar Plum, Egg Nog, Christmas Tree and Christmas Ham. For the last three years we have sampled the Jones Soda holiday pack. Some sodas weren’t bad like Cranberry Sauce. Others made me gag. The Brussel Sprout soda was vile. The smell alone made your gag reflex go into overtime. I think it was the butter flavor they had in with the Brussel Sprouts. Brussel Sprout soda on its own isn’t good. Add butter flavor to it and it is almost undrinkable. I like to mix all of the flavors together. That way I can drink the feast all at once.
I have a set of the old fashioned oil tiki torches. They are all right but they are a pain to fill with oil. That is if you remember to buy the oil for the torches. Seems like I never have any when I need it. These solar tiki toches take car of that problem. No oil needed.
Police in Italy have discovered the mafia’s ten commandments. These are entirely different than the 10 Commandments Moses found. Many of these I thought were movie cliches but here they are written on two slabs and handed down by the Don himself.
1. No one can present themselves directly to another of our friends.There must be a third person to do it. This is how Donnie Brasco got in.
2. Never look at the wives of friends. Similar to thou shalt not covet thy neighbors wife except if you violate the mobs version you get two behind the ear.
3. Never be seen with cops. This one goes without saying. Unless you are getting arrested I guess in that case there isn’t much you can do.
4. Don’t go to pubs and clubs. I have added my own provision.Unless you are going to shake them down or blow them up.
5. Always being available for cosa nostra is a duty- even if your wife’s about to give birth. If you make a commitment you have to stick with it.
6. Appointments must absolutely be respected. This is good advice for everybody. Nobody likes to be kept waiting.
7. Wives must be treated with respect. Unless they mouth off or cheat on you then it is all right to slap them around a little.
8. When asked for any information, the answer must be the truth. Unless you are a no good rat. Then keep your damn mouth shut. Otherwise you will end up with a pair of cement shoes.
9. Money cannot be appropriated if it belongs to others or to other families. This is all about keeping the peace between families.
10. People who can’t be part of the cosa nostra: anyone who has a close relative in the police, anyone with a two-timing relative in the family, anyone who behaves badly and doesn’t hold to moral values.
Well there they are. Just when you thought you knew everything about the mafia something new comes out.
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