North Pole Melting

June 30th, 2008 by Mr. Mai Tai

I have read that the North Pole is melting.  People are worried about polar bears and penguins.  I am concerned about them but what about Santa Claus?  He is clearly the most famous resident of the North Pole and if it melts what is going to happen to his workshop?  I can’t imagine he has an insurance policy on it. If Santa goes there is no point in me being good. The fear of him knowing who has been bad and good has kept me in line for years. If I am not getting my gift from Santa I am going right to the naughty list.
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Love Seat Toilet

June 23rd, 2008 by Mr. Mai Tai

Think you have everything?  Well you probably don’t have a toilet built for two.  I guess there are people who like to do everything together.  The toilet is like a love seat and lets you sit back to back so you can use the other person as support I guess.  I don’t know about you but when my other half has a case of the squirts the last place I want to be is sitting right behind them. 

Love Seat Toilet

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Stuck in a Portable Toilet

June 10th, 2008 by Mr. Mai Tai

There are a few things I hope don’t happen to me and being stuck in a portable toilet is on that list.  Soemhow a naked man in PA got stuck in and had to call 911 to help him out. Of course alcohol was involved and that explains a lot.

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Duct Tape Fashion

June 3rd, 2008 by Mr. Mai Tai

Duct tape can be used for just about anything.  Even fashion.  Ever need a duct tape wallet? How about a duct tape fitted hat? If you answered yes then you need to check out Duct Tape Fashions. You can be the first person on your block with duct tape purse. You could be the envy of your neighborhood.


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Ghost in a Bottle

May 31st, 2008 by Mr. Mai Tai

Shopping for a person that has everything?  Well they probably don’t have a ghost in a bottle.  A company is selling bottles that allegedly have a ghost in it.  They use professional ghost catchers to wrangle the spirits into the bottles and then make them available to the public.  I may need to get one.  I can put it on the shelf next to my pet rock.

Ghost in a Bottle

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Surviving Prison

May 19th, 2008 by Mr. Mai Tai

Don’t worry Mr. Mai Tai is not going to prison but I did come across this Prison Survival Guide. Cops, Jail and Locked-Up are some of my favorite shows. I watch them just in case I am in the wrong place at the wrong time. That way I know what to do and I can try to avoid the prison rape that is probably waiting for me. It might be good reading if you are about to do some time.

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Florida Teacher Accused of Wizardry

May 11th, 2008 by Mr. Mai Tai

A teacher in Florida performs a magic trick where he makes a match disappear. Faster than you can say “Abracadabra” he is fired being accused of wizardry. Now he is worried that he won’t get any future jobs. If he can’t find another job in Florida there is always Hogwarts.

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Coulrophobia

May 8th, 2008 by Mr. Mai Tai

Necrophobia- the fear of dying and of the dead

Claustrophobia- the fear of small confined spaces

Arachnophobia- the fear of spiders

Emetophobia- the fear of vomit

All of these are valid fears.  A few days ago I was out the fair and came across these and they were terrifying.  If you suffer from Coulrophobia you might want to stay away from these.

Clown Trash Cans

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Throwing Babies

May 1st, 2008 by Mr. Mai Tai

In the United States if you find a four leaf clover you consider yourself lucky. In India you have to make your own luck. One lucky ritual has you throw your baby off a 50 foot tower. if you threw a baby off a 50 foot tower you would go to jail.  In India it means it is time to party.

 

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Check the Odds

May 1st, 2008 by Mr. Mai Tai

With all of the news about the crazy weather I thought it might be good for everyone to know their odds of dying at the hands of mother nature. 

 · Flood: 1-in-30,000
· Tornado: 1-in-60,000
· Lightning strike: 1-in-83,930
· Earthquake: 1-in-131,890
· Asteroid impact: 1-in-200,000
· Tsunami: 1-in-500,000

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