I had no idea that snake charmers in India couldn’t perform with live snakes.  I don’t wish harm on a snake charmer but knowing that they could get bitten is part of the experience.  I wouldn’t throw a penny to a snake charmer playing to an empty basket.  I am sure animal activists are probably against this and sure I don’t want any animals harmed during the charming but there has to be a way to make the whole thing more dangerous.  Maybe they can make robot snakes with fake fangs full of real venom.  If the charmers  aren’t charming enough.  Wham.

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Whether you spell it gummy or gummi I love gummy products. Gummi bears, gummi colas, gummi hamburgers, gummi hot dogs. They are all delicious. One of my favorite sites Think Geek has gummy hearts available. Not heart shapes I am talking about anatomically correct hearts. Delicious.

If you are looking for a good time head over to The Smoking Gun site. Nothing like looking through celebrity mug shots to make you feel better about yourself.

Wanna find out if your marriage is going to last?  Enter the data in the marriage calculator and find out. I did it but I have no idea how to read the information. I think we are good though.

The city of Seattle is selling five of their new self cleaning toilets on ebay. The starting bid is $89,000. If I had that much money in my Paypal account I would throw in a bid. I could put it on the back of a flatbed truck and drive it to concerts and sporting events. It would cost a few bucks to use but given the choice between using the usual portable toilet and my traveling futuristic toilet I think my toilet would win.

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I have never needed or wanted a portable urinal. I have not urinated in my pants since I wore diapers. Well there was that one time a few years ago but I don’t talk about that.

You could be that home with the usual lawn ornaments of gnomes, pink flamingos and cutouts of old ladies bending over.  I would prefer to have the house with the zombie lawn ornaments.  They are great for Halloween but I think I would leave it up all year.  After all if my neighbors can leave their Christmas lights up all year I can certainly have a zombie clawing its way out of my front garden all year. 

I have read that the North Pole is melting.  People are worried about polar bears and penguins.  I am concerned about them but what about Santa Claus?  He is clearly the most famous resident of the North Pole and if it melts what is going to happen to his workshop?  I can’t imagine he has an insurance policy on it. If Santa goes there is no point in me being good. The fear of him knowing who has been bad and good has kept me in line for years. If I am not getting my gift from Santa I am going right to the naughty list.
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Think you have everything?  Well you probably don’t have a toilet built for two.  I guess there are people who like to do everything together.  The toilet is like a love seat and lets you sit back to back so you can use the other person as support I guess.  I don’t know about you but when my other half has a case of the squirts the last place I want to be is sitting right behind them. 

There are a few things I hope don’t happen to me and being stuck in a portable toilet is on that list.  Soemhow a naked man in PA got stuck in and had to call 911 to help him out. Of course alcohol was involved and that explains a lot.

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