Last night I received a call telling me I was a guaranteed winner.  That was followed up by a question.  Do you have an annual income of $50,000 or greater.  That seemed odd.  If I won something what difference does it make how much I make?  Well there is a catch.  Why is there always a catch?  In order to claim my prize I have to make at least $50,000 and I have to attend a 90 minute presentation for some time share.  They also need two forms of identification which can be a drivers license or some other picture ID and a major credit card or my check book.  I am not an expert on this but I don’t think credit cards and check books are forms of identification.  If that were the case I should be able to use them at airports and I am pretty sure TSA is not going to accept my credit card or check book as an acceptable form of identification.  The grand finale of the presentation is the award drawing where I am guaranteed to win one of the following:

• A new 2008 Lincoln Navigator or $50,000 cash (recipient’s choice)
• 3 day, 2 night trip to Cancun which includes airfare, hotel, meals and alcohol.  At least it includes alcohol.
• $2,500
• 32″ stereo flat -screen color television

I was told that everyone at the presentation will get to pick a number and that number corresponds to one of the prizes.   We will also get to see what everyone wins.  Here are my thoughts on that.

1.  It is unlikely that anyone is going to win the car or 50k.  If someone does win the grand prize I will be suspicous that the winner is a ringer working for the resort.  The ringer wins the big prize and gets everyone excited that they too could be a big winner.  When in actuality you…

2.  Win a trip to Cancun to a resort that the time share owns with so many restrictions attached to it that you can never redeem it.  Then there is option 3.

3.  You win some crappy off brand 32″ TV (which is not an LCD or plasma HDTV just a TV with a flat screen) that is not 2009 compliant so you have to buy a converter for it.

I think I will give myself the gift of time and I will put that 90 minutes to good use doing something else.   

A mash-up of Star Wars and Rush Hour. 

If you don’t have plans tonight you should go outside and take a look up.  Tonight is the annual Perseid Meteor Shower.  I will be setting up a lawn chair tonight and drinking a few beers while watching the sky fall.

My spam filters are usually pretty good at catching all the stuff I don’t want to see.  Somehow this junk e-mail slipped by the spam filters.  It is a Nigerian scam and the person claims to really be in Nigeria.  I think that is a first for me.  The other ones I have read have claimed to be from lots of other countries but I don’t remember any of them being from Nigeria.  I wrote back to the honorable Barrister Dan Kneece.  I will let you know if he responds back.  Here is our correspondence thus far:

ATTENTION DEAR,
 
I AM BARR.DAN KNEECE THE PERSONAL ATTORNEY TO THE LATE MR.FRANK JOHN.
 
AN AMERICAN NATIONAL,MR.FRANK JOHN WAS A CONTRACTOR WITH AN
OIL COMPANY HERE IN NIGERIA.
 
MR.FRANK JOHN WAS INVOLVED IN AN AUTO ACCIDENT
HERE IN LAGOS NIGERIA  WITH HIS WIFE AND TWO CHILDREN AND HAS
SINCE BEEN BURIED. I HAVE CONTACTED YOU SO THAT I CAN PRESENT
YOU AS A FAMILY MEMBER TO MR.FRANK JOHN SINCE I COULD NOT
LOCATE ONE YET.
 
THE PURPOSE FOR THAT IS TO ENABLE US WORK TOGETHER TO CLAIM THE
FUND DEPOSITED BY MY DECEASED CLIENT WITH A BANK HERE,WHICH IS
THE RISK OF BEING DECLARED UNCLAIMED SOONER THAN LATER.
 
THE FUND IN QUESTION IS USD20.5 MILLION DOLLARS.WHILE THE
DEPOSIT REFERENCE IS: UBPLC/PBG/002/99
 
IF THIS PROPOSAL IS OKAY BY YOU,DO GET BACK TO ME ASAP,TO ENABLE
ME DISCLOSE FURTHER DETAILS CONCERNING THE TRANSACTION AS WELL
AS DISCUSS THE MODALITIES FOR ITS EXECUTION.
LEST I FORGET,I WILL BE OFFERING YOU 40% OF THE TOTAL FUND FOR
YOUR ASSISTANCE IN THIS VENTURE.
 
I LOOK FORWARD TO HEARING FROM YOU
Email: att_dankneece@myway.com
BEST REGARDS
 
BARR.DAN KNEECE(ESQ)

 Here is my response:

Dear Barrister Dan Kneece,

Thank you for sending me news about Frank.  Frank left us 10 years ago to live and work in Africa.  He always had big dreams and he always said Africa was the place for people with big dreams.  I always thought he was a damn fool but it appears that he became quite successful.  Sadly, he never was a good driver and it comes as no surprise that he died in an auto accident.

Frank owes me quite a bit of money so I am more than pleased to assist you.  Please let me know how I might be of assistance.

Sincerly,

M. Tai

I am not a huge fan of Alice in Wonderland but I like Tim Burton. It was announced that Johnny Depp is going to play the Mad Hatter. No surprise there since Depp is in most of his movies. I was hesitant when he did Charlie and the Chocolate Factory but I liked that so I will give this a shot too. They are also casting extras so if you want to be in a Tim Burton movie here is your chance.

Full Story

Many people like this drink.  I am not one of them.  I think it is the Southern Comfort.  I am not a fan of Southern Comfort.  It is the smell.  It reminds me of some medicine I had to take when I was younger.  The drink tastes fine but I can still smell the Southern Comfort and that is enough to make me put this one down.  Here is the recipe:

1 oz. Vodka

1 oz. Southern Comfort

1 oz. Amaretto

1/2 oz Sloe Gin

1/2 oz Triple Sec

Orange Juice

Lime Juice

Take a Collins glass and fill it with ice.  Mix in the alcohol.  Go cheap.  There is no need to use the good stuff.   Fill the rest of the glass with orange juice and throw in a dash of lime juice.  Enjoy.

I have friends that went to Celebration IV.  I chose to stay home.  They told me how awesome it was and that I needed to go to Celebration V.  I just found out there are five cities in the running to host Celebration V.  The five cities are Baltimore, Minneapolis, Chicago, Indianapolis and Orlando.  Orlando would be great.  I live there and with the minimal travel expenses I might go. 

I love most things maple flavored.   Maple syrup = delicious and I am not talking about that fake corn syrup with maple flavoring stuff I am talking about the 100% Amber Maple Syrup.  I also like maple bacon and maple sausage.  I like maple fudge.  I recently found maple cream cookies in the grocery store and I love them.  The maple tree has to be on of the best tasting trees out there. 

Did you know that you can have Hannah Montana call your home?  That’s right she will give you a wake up call so that you can get yourself out of bed and start the day off right.  I don’t know how life could get any more exciting.

If you want your call you can get it here.

The city of Seattle is selling five of their new self cleaning toilets on ebay. The starting bid is $89,000. If I had that much money in my Paypal account I would throw in a bid. I could put it on the back of a flatbed truck and drive it to concerts and sporting events. It would cost a few bucks to use but given the choice between using the usual portable toilet and my traveling futuristic toilet I think my toilet would win.

Full Story